Sometimes – actually no – quite often, Jesus comes and catches me completely off guard.
And its not as if I wasn’t wanting Him to come, it’s just that when He comes and I hear His voice, I hesitate. In that very moment I feel too vulnerable, too exposed.
So many opportunities I have missed for those moments of fear and hesitation, but there’s something about His voice that I can’t continue to resist.
He speaks, my heart comes alive.
So I get up and I go, ‘Ok Jesus, ok, I’m gonna come, just wait a minute!’ But then I get there and it’s too late, He’s gone. The moments passed.
I missed it.
So often the flood of condemenation comes rushing in right there. The shame and feeling of sorrow. I let Him down, why couldn’t I have said yes? Why didn’t I love Him better?
I have a choice in that moment. Give up and go home, or keep pressing on, keep that heart awake.
Keep that heart awake.
There is no one as beautiful as Jesus, nothing that can satisfy like Him. For all my sin and failure and for all the world around, He will always be the song that keeps playing back inside. He will always be the rhythm of my heart.
So press on.
For when you choose to respond, when you choose to pursue, His response to you will empower you.
“Turn your eyes away for they overpower me. Your hair falls in waves… Even among sixty queens and eighty concubines and countless young women, I would still choose my dove, my perfect one – the favourite of her mother, dearly loved by the one who bore her. The young women see her and praise her; even queens and royal concubines sing her praises: ‘Who is this, arising like the dawn, as fair as the moon, as bright as the sun, as majestic as an army with billowing banners?‘” Song of Songs 6:5&8-10
If this post spoke to you I recommend reading Song of Songs 5:2 – 6:10